I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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