I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
