there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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