It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
