So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think i have two assholes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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