that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
