there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Randomize