I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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