wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
