I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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