and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
