i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Found the puke drawer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
