Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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