So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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