I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize