Kiss
Puke
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
