Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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