If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
