if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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