can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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