Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
