Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So squirting runs in the family.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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