Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
