You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
