My first STD was from a foam party
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle