Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

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  (773): In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on http://tfl.nu/7jta
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (773)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Did I miss anything?

  (1-914): View more from New York

  A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.

  (914): View more from New York

  so we also did drugs

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  (914): Did I miss anything? (1-914): A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson. (914): so we also did drugs http://tfl.nu/07bb
  Replies (9) Good night (2642) Bad night (500)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!

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  (815): You left a skid on my bar stool!!!! (847): Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool! http://tfl.nu/5bzd
  Replies (24) Good night (1022) Bad night (5123)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.

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  (240): she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever. http://tfl.nu/656k
  Replies (27) Good night (5783) Bad night (602)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"

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  (770): All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better" http://tfl.nu/pc1d
  Replies (15) Good night (4640) Bad night (1490)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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  (716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj
  Replies (8) Good night (890) Bad night (2628)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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  (270): Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off? http://tfl.nu/sbu9
  Replies (19) Good night (616) Bad night (3587)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

  (416): View more from Toronto

  But that's half the fun of it

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  (647): Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics (416): But that's half the fun of it http://tfl.nu/vf29
  Replies (6) Good night (2428) Bad night (712)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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  (706): Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat. http://tfl.nu/kq42
  Replies (4) Good night (2364) Bad night (594)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?

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  (612): So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one? http://tfl.nu/17zg
  Replies (4) Good night (1246) Bad night (617)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (827) Bad night (416)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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  (647): He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well. http://tfl.nu/9cil
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (270)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

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  (901): I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy. http://tfl.nu/blaa
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (273)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.

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  (239): I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night. http://tfl.nu/o908
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (321)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

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  (586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (351)

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