Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.