i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
