I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT