Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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