Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
