hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize