don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
