this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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