Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
