It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
