whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
