we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
