When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
