A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize