Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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