hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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