Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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