so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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