i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
