We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
