Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
