That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
