No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
