I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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