what day is it and did you see me today?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
