How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
