We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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