Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
