your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize