All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
