i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
