I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's great music for shaving your balls
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
