I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
