Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
