there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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